herpes derp

tardisity:

The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

ddddddddddddddddeannnnnnnnnnnnnn:

180mph:

☁☁☁☁☁  ☁☁☁ ☁  ☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁  ☁☁☁☁ ☁☁☁☁

☁☁  ☁☁☁☁☁☁  ☁☁☁☁☁☁  ☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁  ☁☁☁☁

men               men                                    men

      men                  men                  men      men

                        men                                          men

                  men

                                    men

                                                      men

                              men

              ☂                  ☂                      ☂               ☂

             lesbians         lesbians               lesbians      lesbians

twiistz:

i met a girl with 12 nipples
sounds funny
dozen tit

playbunny:

growing attached to people but not wanting to be that clingy friend

shalrath:

“Young woman, please fix your bra, I can see it”, the teacher says to the student. “But miss, this is not a bra, this is a bathing suit top!”, she exclaims. For some reason, teacher takes this as a legit excuse, since for some reason bathing suits aren’t as controversial as underwear is despite there is literally no difference between them. The crisis is averted. The apocalypse of seeing a bra has been stopped by a single person on the entire wide earth

stoopyd-shyt:

slenclerman:

theres literally no way to tell how many ghost dicks you have in ur mouth right now

this site is the source of my fucking nightmares I swear

callmekitto:

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.

nonymoose:

assbutt-sherlocked-in-the-tardis:

OMG I’M LAUGHING SO HARD MY SISTER WAS WATCHING CHEAPER  BY THE DOZEN AND FUCKING JARED PADALECKI  WAS ON IT AND IN BETWEEN MY TEARS I SAW HIM MAKE THIS FACE

AND I LAUGHED EVEN HARDER BECAUSE I REALIZED HE’S MAKING THE SAME FACE AND GESTURES AS NINE

HANG ON I FIXED IT

pgay:

”if u like someone just tell them!!” yeah sure goodbye